Fair Odds

A football manager died and went to heaven, where he was given charge of a truly immortal eleven. The only drawback was that there was no opposition. Then he got a telephone call from the devil.

"How about fixing up a game with my team?" asked Auld Nick.^*

^* (Auld Nick - (Sc.) Old Nick, the devil.)

"By all means," replied the manager. "But I think it's only fair to warn you that I have the greatest players of all on my side."

"Perhaps," agreed Auld Nick, "but I have all the referees!"

(Glasgow Evening Times)